Tacky?
Opinions please! Is it tacky to give the same kinds of gifts to lots of different people for Christmas? Last year I gave away a bunch of fleece blankets. This year I have been whipping up (stop it Linda! STOP! NO LAUGHING ALLOWED!) various gifts, the same type but alternate colors. I want to give them to a few different people. I have one dear friend I would love to give something handmade and probably will but I am sure I will have to get her something bought because handmade just never quite seems to be enough.
OK... and while this isn't related to the subject, I have a second question. A couple of years ago I was so broke I had to borrow from life insurance to make ends meet thanks to my now ex-husband who broke me financially. I really had nothing. So I dug into my basket of yarn and crochet thread and for a dear friend's birthday, someone who has saved my butt many a time and who I dearly love, I had to make her a huge doily for her birthday. I couldn't afford to buy her anything. It looked so small and, well, disappointing. Now granted, she knew how much work went into it and the love that went into the making but it still looked like a present you get from a starving student. I wasn't starving but I was close. And I hadn't been a student for a long time. I was just in bad straits. I am now at a job that pays the bills, buys food, gas *and* yarn. Much better off. Last year I tried to do a lot more for her birthday than I normally would. But I still feel like I cheated her that one birthday.
The second question is... is it time for me to accept that I did what I could and it was enough? It wasn't a tacky gift... I have a hard time thinking anything homemade is tacky. And while it would have been enough for me, to my non-crafting friend, I am sure it seemed disappointing. I am trying to give myself permission to forgive myself for giving less than I thought I should. It's time... right?
OK... and while this isn't related to the subject, I have a second question. A couple of years ago I was so broke I had to borrow from life insurance to make ends meet thanks to my now ex-husband who broke me financially. I really had nothing. So I dug into my basket of yarn and crochet thread and for a dear friend's birthday, someone who has saved my butt many a time and who I dearly love, I had to make her a huge doily for her birthday. I couldn't afford to buy her anything. It looked so small and, well, disappointing. Now granted, she knew how much work went into it and the love that went into the making but it still looked like a present you get from a starving student. I wasn't starving but I was close. And I hadn't been a student for a long time. I was just in bad straits. I am now at a job that pays the bills, buys food, gas *and* yarn. Much better off. Last year I tried to do a lot more for her birthday than I normally would. But I still feel like I cheated her that one birthday.
The second question is... is it time for me to accept that I did what I could and it was enough? It wasn't a tacky gift... I have a hard time thinking anything homemade is tacky. And while it would have been enough for me, to my non-crafting friend, I am sure it seemed disappointing. I am trying to give myself permission to forgive myself for giving less than I thought I should. It's time... right?
posted by The Mutant Penguin Herself @ 8:59 PM
4 Comments:
At 5:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
My dearest friend. The best gift you can give - anytime of year - is your time. No money, no problem. give friendship coupons.. a promise to go to the movies "dutch" of course - or a day of baking together at your house (you get flour on YOUR floor - not that's friendship!! Get over it. Your friends know you love them. A gift is just that - a Gift. If they don't like it - then they are a poopoo head.
At 7:07 PM,
knitknak said…
uh yeah....what brooke said. Are you kidding me?????? It's not about WHAT the gift is....OR how much it cost....the best gifts are just exactly what you gave...a little piece of you...something she can't get anywhere else!!!! Ever!!!! Now stop it and move on :)
At 9:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
DITTO what Brooke and Roni said . . . YOU are the best gift that anyone can receive (okay chocolate runs a close second) . . . so let go of the past and live and enjoy the moment. . . andwhat is this about whips???????(hehehe). . .
At 8:47 PM,
k said…
What I do when I make something similar for more than one person, is to tell them (or put in the card) why I thought it would be perfect for them, or why I selected those colors/textures. I'd make sure it is something they would use, and would personalize it to their tastes, and would enjoy letting them know why I chose what I did.
But I tend to be the kind of person who writes a lot... which is my segway into part two.
I find that I used to have a hard time forgiving myself, and I learned to be gentler to myself. I might write this person a heartfelt letter explaining how I feel, and let that be my closure.
But in both cases... it is not the monetary value that makes a gift special in my eyes. It is the thought behind the gift that makes it valuable.
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